big butts

During a rare Heidi Klum fashionista moment, I came up with a letter of advice to the pants designers.  I'm sure the world will be begging me to sign up for Project Runway after reading this powerful letter!

Dear pants designers,

I HATE shopping for pants more than going to the dentist because I rarely find pants that fit me right.  It's miserable.  So, here are a few tips as you go forth and make new pants.

• Just because my butt is bigger does NOT mean I'm tall.  Show some love for the short chubby people, will ya?  You might say, "That's what the petite section is for."  Wrong-o.  The petite pants are too short for me.  Go figure.
• Pleats don't look good on everyone.  In fact, they really don't look good on anyone.  Stop making pants with pleats!
• Some people enjoy the crease that's ironed into pants when they first buy them.  I hate it.  In fact, the only time you'll see me with that crease in my pants is when I've bought a new pair of pants.  Usually it takes 2-4 washes before the crease works its way out.  Save yourself some time and save me some grumbling--stop ironing creases into pants before you sell them!
• Belt loops should be required on all pants.  The older generation is constantly complaining about seeing too much crack from younger folks.  Well, some people need to buy a bigger size pants--otherwise they would be too tight in the butt.  Without a belt, if they bend down, we see a full moon.  Belt loops on every pair of pants would definitely help this issue.

I'm sure I'll have more unsolicited advice for you in the coming months.  Thanks for making a few changes.

Your frustrated pal, Jenn